I suppose what has me thinking of this is the completion of my second album. It is a spoken word album that originally was supposed to come out with my hip hop album...but apparently somethings take a little more time. This process (tho not long to some) has felt like forever. Originally I was going to let go of the spoken word album until later. Then people stated that they really wanted some of my spoken word and did I have an album...I had resigned myself primarily to (f)emceeing, so I told them not as of now but one may be on the way.
Well its here. And its amazingly perfectly imperfect. Its Rough. Raw. Untamed. Like me. It gained a life of its own as I began to add the tracks that people wanted the most and soon it all made sense: this album became a documentation of my recovery- from addiction, self loathing, relationships, the past. And then I realized that people wanted these things because they were recovering (or trying to) as well.
I do not think any project has made me more convinced of my place as an educator and healer than this. As I looked through my old journal entries I realized that this was my mission. I prayed to really embrace my mission, and surely it came.
It is 12:13 am and I am here in the studio...my batcave. My safe haven. The only place that can compete with my alter (not ego...prayer space lol) and nature when it comes to processing my experience. Funny that way it is (Apparently I have also decided to speak like Yoda this evening....wait I mean morning).
But seriously...Something happened here. I think I married pieces of me through this process. This album is really not about anything but healing. About being okay to be where you are. Even the process was about me fighting my perfection. Me resisting the urge to get someone "more experienced" to take on the track I was having trouble mixing (yes I engineered this one too). It was about me not being worried about doing it "right" but taking you on my journey. We'll save all that shit for the next hip hip album ;)
But for now...this is for the soul. Not everyone will get it...or appreciate it. Thats ok. This is for the ones who will- and they will get it hardcore. I invite you into my spirit. My journey. Yeah.....
Completion.
Hope and triumph
5th
